Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
