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too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
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