my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
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We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
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Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
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The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!