About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
