I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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