hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
