That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
