marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
