I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she smelled like a LAN party
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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