I'm really into asian looking animals
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
