she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
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Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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