I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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