so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
