i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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