any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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