im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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