Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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