Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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