she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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