she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
