weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The struggles of a small town man whore
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
