Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
