the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Someone signed my nipple.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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