Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I need water and some morals
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
