Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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