She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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