Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
