Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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