You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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