I am puke
barbara walters just said penis...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
