i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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