i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
