bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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