I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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