Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
