he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I am available for nakedness
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
