All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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