i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
