is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
