no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm just crazy horny about you
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
