I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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