I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He has the fingertips of a God
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