Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
