Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
