Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My dick has a subreddit
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
