I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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