My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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