so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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