Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
