I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
