Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
