Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
