apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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