Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
