I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
