I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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