Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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