i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
