is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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