So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
