I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just pee around me
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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