What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
